Rampage tries very hard to be Leslie Nielsen from Airplane!
For the uninitiated (And those too young to even get that statement), the late, great Leslie Nielsen was the dead pan Dr. Rumack in the famous parody movie. His utterly serious demeanor was a perfect nod to the ridiculous events of Airplane! It worked because, despite appearances, Rumack was always in on the joke.
Rampage does its best to be in on its own joke. It knows that it is absolutely absurd and has fun moments where it plays with that. But those moments are fleeting as the flick often takes itself a little too seriously and tries to hit all the typical blockbuster beats. In fact, Rampage never seems to know what it wants to be, leading to an inconsistent and often terrible movie with few decent moments of dumb mayhem. The always charismatic Dwayne Johnson is one of the few highlights of the movie, but even he can’t save this mess.
The Rock Meets a Gorilla…No, Seriously
Dwayne Johnson plays Davis, the world’s most overqualified ape expert. The former special forces operator is concerned for his friend George, an albino gorilla exposed to a pathogen that makes him grow in both size and aggression. During his quests, Davis discovers a pair of evil and idiotic (Mostly the latter) CEO’s behind the pathogen (Malin Akerman and Jake Lacy), a scientist looking for redemption (Naomie Harris), and The Walking Dead’s Negan masquerading as a government agent (Jeffrey Dean Morgan). Plus, there’s a giant crocodile and flying wolf running around as well.
Based on an arcade game with very little story, the filmmakers had to make something up to support the ridiculously fun idea of giant monsters destroying a major city. They do come up with a suitably silly story involving restructured DNA, but the film often takes that story line a little too seriously. As Naomie Harris’ Kate Caldwell is saddled with the thankless job of being the “straight man” in this joke of a plotline, explaining the ins and outs of the pathogen, you will sit there and yell, “WHY ISN’T ANYTHING BEING DESTROYED RIGHT NOW?!?!?”
Rampage does its best to be in on the joke, but it also feels the need to over explain the why behind its absurdity. We didn’t come to this movie for the ethics behind messing with nature…we came to see things get “blowed up.” It’s admirable that director Brad Peyton and his five (!?!?) screenwriters tried to add some context, but it just doesn’t work. Plus, “over complicated” does not equal “smart.”
And then there’s the evil CEO’s plot. It makes no sense. Akerman’s Claire Wyden is supposed to be some sort of mastermind, but any person with a brain and any common sense would know that their plan would never work. Worse yet, the movie never jokes about this. Wyden’s ridiculous plan is tailor made for ribbing, but it’s played pretty straight. The movie seemingly relies on a frankly unfunny Brett Wyden, played by a mugging Jake Lacy.
When Rampage’s advertised, uh…rampage does start, it is pretty fun. The little kid who actually played that arcade game years ago got a kick out of seeing those giant monsters on screen. That said, it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. It’s a bunch of CGI monsters duking it out…the novelty wears off quickly.
Said CGI is inconsistent as well. While the gorilla George is brought to life well, with amazingly well done facial expressions, the wolf looks out of place. The wolf known as Ralph is the only one that resembles his video game counterpart. While that is cool, it feels strange given the more grounded approach given to George and the crocodile’s look. Speaking of the crocodile, it is portrayed in a pretty frightening way.
The size of the monsters is also wildly inconsistent. The crocodile often dwarfs Ralph and George and the latter fluctuates in size. One moment George can fit on a plane, the next he’s big enough to eat a human. Granted, he is constantly growing, but it’s almost laughable how little the movie cares about the consistency, as the creatures’ size changes in the name of plot convenience. Again, this could have been played for laughs, but it never is.
The Rock Can’t Save This One
Like almost any movie he is in, Dwayne Johnson is the saving grace of Rampage. In addition to being his normal charismatic self, he is also one of the only actors who seems to be in on the joke. He plays it seriously when necessary, but plants his tongue firmly in cheek at just the right times. However, Johnson’s best moments come with George.
It sounds a bit weird, but Johnson’s Davis and George have the best chemistry of any characters in the movie. George is given a sympathetic back story and has some genuine emotional moments with Davis. And Johnson plays those moments well. They also have great comedic timing. Unfortunately, their moments together are too short.
Davis spends more time with Harris’ Caldwell. Their chemistry is virtually nonexistent though. Despite an awkward attempt to give Caldwell a sympathetic back story, her role is basically to be the film’s Captain Exposition. It’s a waste of an actress of Naomie Harris’ caliber, especially since she is never allowed to have any fun.
On the other hand, Jeffrey Dean Morgan saunters into every scene, ready to camp it up. It does feel like a slightly exaggerated version of his character on The Walking Dead though. And his character feels a little unnecessary as well. Someone like Malin Akerman’s Wyden should have been another scenery chewing character, but for some reason Rampage never asks her to do so. Instead, she deadpans through most of the movie, making her ridiculous dialogue even more silly.
In general, the dialogue is groan inducing. Lines like, “That’s why we did the experiments in space!” are said completely straight while painfully obvious jokes often fall flat. There is one exchange as Johnson and Morgan first meet that utterly fails. Poor Naomie Harris is saddled with poorly written and obvious jokes about the unnecessary display of testosterone between the two. It’s a perfect example of how Rampage tries to be everything to everyone, inserting an obvious rivalry and a poor attempt at comedic commentary.
Cookie Cutter Blockbuster
In the end, Rampage tries to be too smart for its own good. It never finds its focus and tries to hit all the check points of a typical blockbuster. What should have been a fun, over the top romp becomes something like a Cliff Note’s version of a monster B-movie.
Despite a fun bromance between Dwayne Johnson and a giant albino gorilla (Seriously guys…There are SO many jokes that could have come out of that!!!), action fans may want to wait to see this when its streaming on Netflix.
SCORE: 5 OUT OF 10